She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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