RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
