im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
