Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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