I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
