We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
