I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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