Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
