if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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