so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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