Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
