Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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