My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
