Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
