I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
