Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
