Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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