he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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