I accidentally had phone sex last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
