How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
