Whod you bang
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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