Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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