No stitches, just platelets and will power
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
