fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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