I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
