Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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