ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
