you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize