The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
