No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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