he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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