is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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