And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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