Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
