Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
