Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
