hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
