Nicole vs. Life
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
