people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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