My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I look better un-naked...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
