I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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