I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
