so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
3 2 1 whiskey
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
