Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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