im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
