I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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