New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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