i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
