i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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