I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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