i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I had to cum in my sink.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize