Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
