kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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