Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
