Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
