Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
