Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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