i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
