...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
