i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
