We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize