well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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