I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish I only lived at night.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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