Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
