Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found your dick twin last night
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize