I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
