I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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